I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize