there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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