You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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