we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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