Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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