Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i believe in u and ur pee
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