It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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