yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
