He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
