I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
