put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
