Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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