Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize