She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
