so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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