yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
