I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As shirtless as possible
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
