I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
