i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
