I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize