fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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