Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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