She announced her abortion via fbk
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize