Having a random hookup so left but love u
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
