bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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