oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
