yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize