Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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