it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
