Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
