mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it glows. i had to have it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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