so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
