Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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