my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
