VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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