Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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