Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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