Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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