Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
