we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
