He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
