Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
