Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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