I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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