didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
