Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
