I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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