Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
