i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
