But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
