do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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