Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
