is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
