Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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