This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize