Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
