let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
