It's like God shit irony all over that family
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
