Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
